Keep In Touch. Or Not.

I've always found it interesting how the dynamics of friendship work, especially after distance separates individuals. Friendships come and go, but some endure the graduations and new jobs, and ultimately the test of time. As I like to sit around and take in my surroundings (and people watch), I've observed a lot of personal interactions and given them some thought.

In any given relationship there is always an initiator, regardless of how close two people can claim to be-someone who starts the conversations; someone who lays the framework of any plan. The "initiator" values the friendship more than the other individual does and values these interactions at a much higher priority. I quickly noticed this growing up, as I tended to be the initiator. As someone who generally keeps to myself, this was ideal as things tended to happen on my terms.

I became deeply aware of these interactions in high school, despite having little desire to be social, and this greatly shaped how I keep in touch (or in this case didn't do so) with those I went to high school with. With college occupying all of my time and energy, I would no longer initiate interactions with those from high school, and consequently I have fallen out of touch with just about everyone I had known then. These days, I rarely acknowledge my time during high school, as none of my current interactions (or anything in my life in general) needs to acknowledge that time, and almost everything I do draws from the past as far as my undergraduate times.

While my life is generally consumed by graduate school (and hopefully graduating someday...), I still find time to keep in touch with a small handful of friends I made during my undergrad days. Once again I am the primary initiator in these relationships-every message; every Skype call; every visit. Perhaps I'm being too overbearing; intruding into everyone else's lives when they have already moved on. One day when I have new priorities and have less time and energy, these too will fall by the wayside. That's how it will generally be, because that's how it's always been and will always be.